Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
