Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
