Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
