i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
