i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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