Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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