All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
