I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
