Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
