Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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