if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
