And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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