How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I will pee on everything he values.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
