It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Is it penis luge time yet?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
