that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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