if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
