I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
