South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
