Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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