i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
