its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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