would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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