the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
