Its about making memories worth repressing
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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