At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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