I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
