what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
