How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
the day after is always just damage control
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
