just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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