hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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