I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
