And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
there is puke in my bra ... again
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
