Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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