okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
