I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
