It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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