She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
