just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
