I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I FOUND THE LEGS
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I party with great urgency now.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
