Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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