Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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