I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
