i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
