it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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