Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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