i jhust puked up my retainher.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
