ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Are my feet made of real feet?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
MIDGETS
????
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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