let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I need a burrito and a hug.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
