I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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