I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
whose parrot is this?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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